Language

 In my opinion, the statement " failure is the mother of success" is false. (Clear thesis but for the beginning of the sentence and in an essay, avoid using oral language: in my opinion.) Although some times failure can foster success, this only happens in rare occasions. Most of the time, a persons (person) who succeeds often in life will continue to succeed because he already has. In other words, a person with the ability to succeed will keep succeeding because he has the will to succeed. People who fail usually do not have the conviction to succeed. (Clear thesis and good development of thesis.)
For example, when applying for a job or trying to get into college, the manager or board of admission will usually not accept someone if he has a history of failures, as opposed to a history of success. (who applying or trying? vague subject. Grammar error.) This is because what a person will do (perform?) in the future is mainly based on what a person has done (performed) in the past. The idea that failure is the mother of success is probably derived from the fact that people who try over and over again at something will succeed at the end. However, there is not a distinct relationship between the failures and the success. In conclusion, failure is not the mother of success. (The paragraph is a good support narration. Especially the logic development is smooth. However, the conclusion is too abrupt and without further repeating or strengthen the thesis.) 
 

To some people failure is unavoidable. s(S)ome people fail at everything they do. Those people eventually came (come) up with an excuse to rectify all their failure (s). That phrase is "failure is the mother of success.". (The sentence does not succeed the previous one smoothly. "That phrase" is vague to refer to.) Failure is not the mother of success, but instead failure is undisputed proof of one's carelessness and stupidity. (Finally the thesis is introduced. The major task of this paragraph should introduce the thesis clearly and obviously. Though the author's thesis is clear but it is not so obvious in the paragraph.)

(It's better to have another paragraph or narration or argument before giving example.)
Take, for example, a simple math problem, 2+2.  (To transit from one paragraph to another. It's better to use "For example" instead of inserting it into a sentence. ) To arrive at the expected result you just add the two numbers. There is no other way to do it. So if you fail it is because of your own negligence.
When you fail or do something wrong you learn and grow from that experience. But this occurrence (case?) is excruciatingly rare and too unimportant to use.(use what? and who use?) Most people that (who) get knocked down, stay down. Take Joe. (for example?) Joe is a high school dropout, he has no ambitions or goals, (. Run-on error) Most people will (would?) consider him a failure. Joe learned from his failures that he needs to study harder,(. Has he achieved enough score or other things that a college would consider him?) but no (No) colleges would take him,(why?) therefore (therefore is an adverb. It could not introduce a dependent clause.) he is not successful. (Sentence and logic development do not go smoothly.) 

(This paragraph could be combined with the example paragraph. The sentence and logic development should go smoothly.)

Only failures consider failure to be the mother of success. (Failures consider failure? Failures are person? The conclusion content is good but too abrupt without further causing readers to think over. Too short.)
 

"One percent inspiration, 99 percent perspiration." Edison's definition of genius has often been quoted to define success. But what is success? Success may be described as the achievement of a goal or aim, but it is basically how one can turn adverse situations in his or her own favor. "f(F)ailure is the mother of success" implies that although everyone tries to succeed in everything they do, many obstacles arise unexpectedly and make it difficult to achieve wanted measures(better:results), but stemming from those failures is a determination to better oneself and to learn from past mistakes. (It's better to have a period after "they do". Another sentence begins with "Stemming...". The failure reasons come not only from external but also many other factors. For example, bad decision, short of abilities, short of resources, etc.) If one is able to view disappointments as learning opportunities to improve in one's abilities, then failure is the mother of success. (Good thesis to begin with.  It pays the way for further supporting the argument in the following paragraph.)

Life isn't easy. Everyone figures out that key fact of life sooner or later. Everything is difficult in the beginning, nothing goes according to plan, and failure is inevitable. (Grammar error: run-on sentence.) Even when one has a certain plain (typo?) in mind to achieve a goal, even if it has been carefully planned in advance, one will still encounter unexpected obstacles and difficulties. When on (typo?) fails, one should learn from the mistake, and try again. Patience, persistence, and will are important for drawing experience from previous failures. (Who will draw experiences: vague.) By improving oneself based on past attempts, one can change the tactic and strategy used in the means of reaching the aim and finally succeed in accomplishing one's goal. No person's route to success is smooth, because success is due to bitter failures and the pain of suffering from despair. Before one can rise to the top, one must crawl in the dirt at the bottom. (Good narration to support the argument. But argument could go deeper.  Further argument could be how one can analyze the failure reasons and benefit from the failures.)
For example, a farmer tries to sow a new type of plant. But to his disappointment, the seed he plants does not produce him a large yield, whereas his neighbor cultivates the same seed and receives an abundance of crops in return. The unfortunate farmer does not lose hope and is determined to figure out the reason of his failure: he tries to better fertilize his soil, he plants his seeds in an open area for maximum sunshine and is finally rewarded with a large crop. By learning from his previous failure, the unfortunate farmer is able to better himself as well as his abilities and is rewarded with a successful harvest. (Right place to introduce an example to support the argument. But the example is not so concrete. )
"Failure is the mother of success" is a quote that applies to everyone. If one is weak in a certain subject, one should not be ashamed or disappointed. One only needs to be consistent in his study and listen to the advice of others to better improve,(improve better?) so that in the long run one can get over one's own weaknesses. Overcoming a weakness is, in itself, a success. Failure cultivates success by turning failed attempts into learning opportunities to improve oneself, so that in the future the action will not be repeated and the attempt will end in success. (Excellent conclusion though a little bit redundant!)

For example, it(if?) someone is offered a job he/she does not want after failing to get any of the jobs he/she did want, that person would likely accede to the offer because they can’t make a living, unless they plan to search more. (pronouns agree?) Most people who are threatened with the danger of a loved one do anything a blackmailer says. However, if the service would be for a great evil, then they would be hesitant. If a war had occurred someone may want to join the army to both help free people and support their family. Of course, how a person feels about something heavily affects their ultimate decision.
(Good connection. However, the examples are superficial! Too slogan-style! Sentences are not smooth and concise! Grammar errors, words not well-chosen!)
In conclusion, many factors affect a person’s decision on whether or not to join a cause. Danger to anyone and freedom of anyone help affect these decisions. A person joins a cause if they benefit from it or someone is saved by it(agreement issue). However, being blackmailed can change their (who?) decisions. Ultimately, however, a person chooses their decision based on how strongly they feel for a cause. (agreement issue).
(The conclusion paragraph is better than the other paragraphs. The same issues exist as the support paragraph: simple and superficial with many grammar issues.)

When deciding which type of cause is worth fighting for, personal freedoms as rights should be the first thing to pop up in one’s mind. Without these liberties that people now take for granted, they would not be treated equally between(?) government officials, opinions would not be heard, and many rights would be deprived.(run-on errors)
(The paragraph is redundant. Over explain! State the obvious! Run-on errors!)
Martin Luther King Jr.’s fight for equality between blacks and whites provides a look at how important equal rights were to the blacks. They didn’t want money nor fame, they didn’t want special privileges, all they wanted was the personal liberties that were given to white citizens at birth.(run-on error!) Their long struggle and protest ended in success as blacks were given more and more rights, and discrimination lessened.(discrimination for whom?)
(Connect the thesis logically and good place to provide an example to support the point of view.   A concrete example could provide a better support to the thesis. Run-on errors!)
Both anti and pro-abortionists fight for the personal rights of either the right to life or the right to choice. By protesting against the other, these groups are demonstrating their rights to free speech. This action is only made possible by the implement of personal rights and freedoms.
(Another example to support the point of view, but the example could be explored deeper.)
Today on the(?) news and in the(?) newspaper we hear daily (today and daily; redundant?) about the fight for new causes. Ranging from the fight for life to the fight for gay rights, people strive to create change. But how is change created? It is created from the people’s rights to free speech and expression of their liberties. Demonstrated by the blacks tedious struggle for equality and even by today’s protestors, personal rights and liberties are by far the cause most worth fighting for.
(Logic conclusion to the point of view and reinforce the thesis. The paragraph could explore more on the thesis and let readers to participate into thinking on the thesis.)